Ten minutes to go before Punnett takes the stage and I fear the goodly Mr. Punnett got wind of "Saturday Night Punnett", as he's managed to snag a 1st hour guest this week. So much for mocking callers and Punnett's response to them. Instead we get Dr. Betty Martini talking about "issues related to aspartame". Ugh. IP is trying to smoke me out with a god awful boring guest. No luck, Punnett, SNP will continue onward.

It's 1 AM here on the East Coast and the link to listen to the show is not up yet. The hardships of SNP continue.

1:02 AM. No link. Damn. IP must be trying to drive me away by any means necessary.

Sweet. 1:03 The link is up.

After foolishness on my part trying to get the player going, I pick up the show in mid-Noory commercial for "After Dark".

Sweet. Less than 10 seconds into what he is saying, Punnett says he has his pipe packed. 3 consecutive weeks for pipe mentions, kudos Punnett, you're off on the right foot.

He says he got Glenn Kimball on because of a listener e-mail. Good stuff.

Punnett is raving about the New York Times talking about the 10th Planet story. He says it's old news. Nice throwback to last week's Jason Martell episode.

Weird story about the sun's twin. I'll have to look into that.

London bomber news. He throws it back to the Howard Bloom episode from 2 weeks ago. This is turning into 6 Degrees of Punnett.

Ha ha. Punnett reads an awful quote from the terrorist who was arrested that sounds like poor English.

Battle Staff Directive Number 41 is not a fake. Wow. Um, never heard of it. Ian said "tinker". Sounds like another terrorism story. Yikes, sounds like some terrorists were lurking about Tinker Air Force and had a rocket launcher (Ian says "man pad").

Kid kidnapped at Yankee Stadium. Typical Yankee fans. Sounds like this kid just vanished.

Ugh. Congress wants to ban human / animal hybrids. Boo to you, Congress. Boo to you.

Shaken, not stirred, as in Dr. Betty Martini, after the break.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

While I listen to the awful bumper music that Streamlink has been running since last December, let's toss in a commercial for BoA, baby. Tuesday, Lesley will be talking about Whitley Strieber's Dreamland. Lesley can easily qualify as a Dreamland afficianado and this column is fantastic.

"Grey Matters", only at binnallofamerica.com Lesley also produces a vast amount of quality news and opinion at her critically acclaimed blog "The Debris Field", http://thedebrisfield.blogspot.com/.

END OF BREAK

Ian's back with Betty. She's giving an update on Aspartame. Sounds like cumulative damage caused by Aspartame. Ouch, a single diet cola drinken every day could kill you. I thought it just took the paint off your car.

What ?! Betty says Doctors removed tumours from rats and then put them back into studies. Damn, if that's true, that's insane.

Ian wants to know "what the whopper is" (Referencing the article title)

Betty says the "whopper" is that the it's coming out in official studies that Aspartame causes cancer.

Uh oh, Betty's lawyering up.

Ian wants to know if any countries have banned it. Good question, IP.

Betty calls cola, "pop". I love regional language.

Ian uses Splenda "as often as I can".

LOL. Betty says that Splenda is "DDT light" and contains chlorine. That sound you hear is Ian crapping his pants.

Ian "I thought it was just sugar."

Betty is letting him down gently. She says that is false advertising. She says there's toxins in it. If Ian is even remotely paranoid, he'll probably not leave the bed for the next week after this interview.

Ian wants to know if he can use Saccharine.

Betty says it's okay, but "I wouldn't put it in my mouth." She pushes some alternative sweeteners that are okay to use. He gets a tenative endorsement for "Just like Sugar". She suggests something called Zalotall, but it causes "bloating and gas", causing both Ian and me to crack up.

Ian does a nice job summing up this story and Betty does a good job clarifying it a bit more.

Ian says goodbye to Betty, so it sounds like she'll only be on for a half hour. Nice, Ian speeds her up as she's struggling to get everything out over the bumper music. Ian promises e-mail next.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Bad streamlink music. Wednesday @ BoA, Khyron's "Ghost Files". A weekly jaunt through haunted happenings and spooky stories. Also check out Khyron's blog for fantastic movie reviews, C2C reactions, insights into the life of Khyron, and stellar sci fi reviews. binnallofamerica.com for Ghost Files. http://khyron05.blogspot.com/ for Khyron's blog.

END OF BREAK

Open Lines for the remainder of tonight's SNP. Ian says a lot of folks want updates on Kimball's search of Egyptian stuff in America. Nice tease for good info.

Ian says he got a lot of e-mails and many folks suggested Steve Quayle, of course. Ian says he's looking forward to talking with Quayle. I'm looking forward to that meeting.

Ian turns the anti-hybrid legislation into a bad joke. Not sure if he got that from a listener or not.

Some guy makes a suggestion and Ian agrees with him.

Another e-mail explains that "sexidecimal" is not used anymore in a long and convoluted letter. But it is pretty interesting.

Some dude writers in and craps all over Ian for drinking tea. Ian says his tea is awful tonight.

A real nutter wrote in to say he has thousands of pictures of a Stargate.

Ian says he's been on the air for 30 years.

Yes ! A pipe question. Some insinuates that Ian smokes grass. He says no, it is peach flavored. He does say that his tea is made of hashish. Ha ha. Punnett scores points with me for that one, causing me to laugh loud enough to wake the neighbors.

He reads a hate letter from "Tim". Rest assured, this is not me. I am a Punnett fan.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Seriously, they need to change this Streamlink music. I'd pay an extra 15 cents a day for some classic rock. Whoah, short one, not enough time for a BoA commercial.

END of BREAK

Ian got e-mails regarding "Solimon" from last week and somehow he got Solimon back on the show again ! Nice. Class move by Ian and Coast. Solimon says he is an Ian fan, taking the words right out of my mouth. Ian plugs his staff, good man.

Solimon is going to make some predictions. He wants a guest appearance, of course. Get in line. He plugs grassyknoll.com for his predictions. Wow, I'm surprised they let him.

Solimon says when US goes to war with N. Korea, Tokyo and LA will be attacked. An area 50 miles in radius will be decimated and a fountain of magma will erupt. He is so sure, he called the Pentagon. Wow, Solimon is serious.

Ian wants a timeframe. Solimon says if we can get through 2005, mankind will be able to heal itself. He says the invasion of Iran and Syria is emminent. No crap, Solimon.

He says there is a military buildup in Guam for a N.Korean war. Israel is going to get involved in a nuclear war and somehow the ionosphere will turn into a "curtain of fire". Bizarre. Frightening.

Ian says that's enough. It's official ... I'm also a Solimon fan. Though he reminds me of Prophet Yahweh.

Ian goes to "Dave in Vermont" who first says, sounding disgusted, "My name's Rick". Ha ha. He tells a UFO story. Then another one. Wow, first time I've been bored this hour.

Richard ... East of the Rockies. He's suggesting a book. He's rambling about cycles and an impending cycle end. Ian says he's only read 2 chapters of the book he is suggestng. The caller lets out a hilarious "sigh". Ian syas he'll try and get the author on the show and the caller lets out a repugnant little moan that may be the funniest moment of the hour.

The bumper music kicks in and Ian previews Glenn Kimball. He sounds like he'll be really into this episode, so I'll be listening to the rest. However ... this concludes Saturday Night Punnett on my end. Hope you enjoyed the ride.