It's quarter of one in the morning here at BoA HQ. I've sent the cleaning lady home, all the lights are out, and I smell Punnett. Yikes, sounds like a bad horror film. Ian has Capt. Kelly Sweeney on in the first hour to discuss maritime piracy. Ar, matey. Should be killer.

This week's "Faces of Punnett" gets to the heart of Ian Punnett. His life credo : Less is More. Subdued and sensitive, this Ian knows that small changes can shift your whole paradigm.

Last week, IP's pop-in Terry Esau pouted like a woman and made everyone laugh. Let's hope for more insanity as tonight unfolds.

Pre-show prediction ... Ian starts with his beat intro, does an overly long intro for Michael Horn later in the show, teases what's to come later in the first hour and then goes to a commercial. How much you wanna bet ?

Ian says 19 documented assassination attempts on Billy Meier. I'd believe 3 at best. He claims there are some new Meier predictions proven to be true. Hmm. "The most important story in human history", no C2C's not prone to exaggeration, why do you ask ?

You can set your watch by Ian Punnett's hosting style as we go to ...

COMMERCIAL BREAK

What, you think producing top notch editions of "Grey Matters" week in and week out while running the critically acclaimed blog "The Debris Field" is easy ? Think again, my friends. It's hard work. Lesley takes a much deserved week off @ BoA on Tuesday. In place of a fresh Grey Matters, we look back at a classic GM. Don't fret too much, Lesley will still be hard at work over @ The Debris Field, which can be found here : The Debris Field. Rumours that Lesley will use her week off to shop for "Face on Mars" bolo ties for Richard C. Hoagland cannot be confirmed or denied at this time.

END OF BREAK

Ian has news, then e-mail and probably no Open Lines.

He wants to apologize. He doesn't listen to C2C on Fridays (me neither). Apparently, National Geographic reports that a perpetual motion machine has been invented. Sweet.

Traffic is so bad in LA that they want to make a tunnel there or a double decker highway. People are mad that it is in "earthquake country". It would cost 9 billion. Ian's going bonkers over this.

Terrorism abroad. Apparently a man and his wife were joint terrorists in Jordan. Ian turns it into a bad joke about his wife.

IBM has a new 3D video system. Um, yay ? Ian turns it into a joke about CBS's miniseries "Category 7". Ugh. His jokes are awful tonight.

Rioting spreading throughout French countryside.

Microscopic particles help purify industrial run-off. Tasty. Ian loves this story. Ian says "spongy nature". He's infatuated with this one. Damn, I get it, Ian, it's small. He makes a Brawny paper towel joke. Seriously.

Buddhism thickens your brain. Sweet. Ian takes Buddhist meditation classes, he claims. Ian says everyone's stomach churns.

Fancy meteorite found. It is described as a collector's item.

Des Moines, Iowa. Former Security Guard fired for seeing ghosts can get unemployment. Good on ya. Ian gives a shoutout to night watchmen.

Endangered species protection for Dutch Nessie type thing ends. Expect to hear from Tom Biscardi in Europe any day now.

Ian dips into his e-mail bag.

E-mail re: listener calling him a "political hack for the DNC".

E-mail re: listener calling him "right wing".

E-mail re: E-bay auction on cursed clown doll. Damn, I wanna get that for Noory.

E-mail re: 11:11. Cool little math dealie.

E-mail re: Allan Botkin last week. Folks get made fun of by teachers. This is apparently news. Sounds creepy as hell. Ian mocks her grammar, what a bastard.

E-mail re: pole shift. Ian doesn't believe in pole shifts, it sounds like.

E-mail re: from Mary Roach on tour to promote her book. She says that her favorite show to be on was C2C. Aw, that's sweet. Sounds like love is in the air, IP !

E-mail re: from Terry Esau from last week !! Yes !! He wants to apologize for his insanity last week. Holy garbage. Unprecedented. He sound pretty sorry.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Grant Cameron brings the goods, hardcore, to BoA : Audio, Season One in this week's edition of the audio series. Cameron is a highly respected name in Ufology and he's been in the field for 30 years, so he's seen a lot of stuff. We sat down for a lengthy conversation, part one of which you can hear right now. We talk about how Grant got into Ufology and the roads of research he's been down, Canadian Ufology, Presidents and UFOs, and Disclosure. And that's just Part 1, available now @ BoA.

END OF BREAK

Ian's skills with bumper music come through again, as we're treated to "Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress". Ian, you cheeky bastard, you know your classic rock. Great tune, second only to "Cherokee Nation".

Deep voice guy gives us the numbers, despite IP saying probably no Open Lines tonight. Ian says he wanted to roll the numbers out "just in case". Uh, yeah.

Capt. Kelly Sweeney is on ... next. .

COMMERCIAL BREAK

For the past four weeks, the venerable Khyron has been unveiling prototype "K-Files" logos. This Wednesday, the time arrives when he turns the decision over to YOU. Yes, choose the K-Files logo this Wednesday. He'll also detail the various happenings in esoterica that have crossed the wires. If that's not enough for you, stop over to khyron.net. for more khyronic materials.

END OF BREAK

Sweeney says "ahoy".

He is a maritime sailor. He's freelance now. He's out at sea between 60 and 90 days at a time.

Nice little back-and-forth about life at sea.

Boating is going through downsizing.

Ian turns it back to the topic at hand : pirates. When does Sweeney know he may run afoul of pirates.

Sweeney says a bunch of places that I can't spell.

Ian wants to know how sophisticated pirates are. Good question.

Sweeney says pirates are very sophisticated. They can follow automated stuff that is like a beacon by boats. They use this to go after boats.

He says the weaponry ranges from grenade launchers to automatic machine guns. He says his crew has fire hoses and axes for the most part.

Sweeney says there have been 3,800 documented pirate attacks in 2005 alone.

Ian says, "Y'all are like low hanging fruit." How insightful.

Ian wants to know about the "sonic device" that the cruise ship used.

Sweeney's never heard of it really.

Ian points out that the cruise ship could outrun the pirates. Sweeney says that very unusual. Pirates usually use high speed boats.

Ian craps on the pirates' ships.

Sweeney tells a great story here about a boat being attacked by pirates.

Ian wants to know about the pirate "mother ship".

Sweeney has never heard of that before. Wow, insightful guest.

Ian wants to know what happens when the pirates catch the boats.

Sweeney says the pirates want stuff they can sell. They'll kill you if you interfere, but it is goods they want. But, in some places, the whole crew is murdered and the boat is sold.

Ian wants to know how many lives of merchant seamen have been lost.

Sweeney, surprisingly, doesn't know this. He tells some anecdotal stories. He says they are dying regularly.

Ian suggests using swords as weapons. What an ass.

Sweeney says "anybody who is anybody in maritime sailing reads my column". What an egomaniac.

Ian mocks his appearance again.

Sweeney says his colleagues want weapons to protect themselves.

Ian says he has a romantic vision of fighting pirates, further suggesting his gayness.

Sweeney says they are working on some sort of alarm system for sounding for help in a pirate attack.

Ian wants Sweeney on-call as his pirate expert. Sweeney, looking for more face time, I'm sure, says he is all for it. Great, IP has a pirate guy.

Ian wants to know about his specific run-in with pirates.

Sweeney says once. He runs out of time in the middle of the pirate attack story. Awesome blooper. He tries to get past the hour and promote his book.

Ian obliges ! Wow. Ultra rare holdover. Insane. I don't care, SNP has boundaries and the boundary is at 2 AM. You'll have to find another source for the outcome to Sweeney's story, but I think it ends with him alive.

Good SNP this week, but C2C really should get John Burnett on the show to talk about pirates, instead of Sweeney, who seems to be more of a self-promoter.