George Noory, esoteric talk show host, is dispatched to Punxatawnee, PA, to cover the annual rodent festivus. Somehow, someway, he slips into a time loop, forced to endure the annual event over and over again, including hearing about his sidekick Richard C. Hoagland's hyperdimensional theories ad nauseum.

Along the way, Noory manages to kidnap Punxatawnee Phil and demands to be taken to John Titor, the only man he knows who can figure out how to get out of this time loop. Sadly, the groundhog doesn't speak English nor believe the John Titor story.

After that fails, The Noor ends up deciding to stay in the same day forever, where he can host Open Lines until the end of eternity.