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For a while, I'd thought it was suspicious that Art Bell just up and took off for the Philippines.

Then, one day out of the blue, my spy posing as Art Bell's $30 maid sent me a polaroid picture of what he claimed was a pregnant Art Bell.

Being a true journalist, I couldn't rush to publish until I confirmed this stunning story. So, I wired some money to some friends at the Mall of Manilla and was promptly e-mailed this picture from a recent Glamour Shots session attended by none other than Art Bell, himself.


There you have it, folks. Art Bell, student of esoteric science for decades, seems to have harnessed the power to carry a baby. Unfortunately, he also seems to have picked up hair care tips from Ed Dames.

In order to protect the esoteric secrets involved in this groundbreaking new development, Art has begun to spread the cover story that his new wife Airyn is the one who is pregnant.

Nonetheless, congrats to Art and his team of scientists. May you have a healthy bouncing baby Bell.

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