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So I order a pizza last night after a long weekend of hard work. It arrives, I clear off the table, put three slices onto a plate, cue up my Tivo to turn on "Celebrity Fit Club", and ... the power goes out. For three and a half hours of my prime time. Thank crap I wasn't working on something huge for BoA at the time or I would have flaked. Instead, I lit some candles and pretended I was living in Colonial times, only with pizza and a mini TV to watch Family Guy. The power eventually came back on at 10:30 or so, but by then I was tired from sitting in the dark for 3 + hours and decided to just go to bed.
But I got a good nights sleep and I pay it forward to you, the reader, in spades, as I think this week we've got another top notch edition of News Watch from a refreshed binnall and with help from BoA staff members Lesley and Khyron. You know the routine, here's your little preview for this week's NW : A lying dwarf, Chinese moon missions, gay Egyptians, Butlers in Thailand, and Jewish giants in the "Hot 5", courtesy of Lesley's blog, The Debris Field. Nerds get good gas mileage in "Future News Now". Khyron takes a look at "Battlefield 2", the sequel to the popular video game "Battlefield 1942", courtesy of his blog, khyron.net, in "That's Entertainment ! with Khyron" . I wax poetic about Mark Bellhorne, the often maligned 2nd baseman of the Red Sox, in "My Fandom : Year 2". And, in a scathing editorial, I look at the Iraqi Constitution and how ridiculous the whole thing is. Plus the Noory Story Showdown II, for those of you keeping score at home.
So sit back, relax, enjoy some pizza with the lights out and read on ... Hot 5 Stories from The Debris Field
The links are straight from Lesley's blog The Debris Field. The commentary is pure binnall.
1>Nev. Man Admits Lying About 'Wonka' Role (earthlink)
http://start.earthlink.net/article/str?guid=20050810/42f97bc0_3ca6_1552620050810-1884329746
Disgusting. Repulsive. Deplorable. And I'm just talking about the man's height. Seriously though, I love dwarves. I always have. Even before this new "midget craze" swept America in the mid-90's or so. The diminutive men and women of this world are a special breed and we must cherish them, for one day with the "help" of stuff like the Human Genome project, they will be gone.
Therefore, I hold no ill will against this acting dwarf who claimed to be one of the Original Oompa Loompas. People make up a lot of stuff to get attention. I once claimed to be a part of China's hottest boy band "Loose Change". So shine on you crazy dwarf and God speed.
A Reno man who long claimed to have played one of Willy Wonka's Ooompa Loompas in the original 1971 motion picture now admits he was lying.
Ezzy Dame, a high-fashion hairdresser and art enthusiast, confessed the fib Tuesday in an interview with the Reno Gazette-Journal. He said the false claim seemed harmless at the time but grew into a beast of a deception.
2>China on track for moon mission (BBC)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4146226.stm
Speaking of China, my favorite enemy of America is at it again, showing up NASA. And I, for one, couldn't be happier. Yes, return of "Hot 5 #2", my weekly NASA rant.
China is going to the moon. We went to the moon once. Thirty five years ago. China is going soon. They're sending probes and what-have-you there to check it out. We are doing that with Mars. Are we to assume, then, that China thinks there's something we missed at the Moon. Hmm.
I predict a Chinese astronaut walks on the moon before an American astronaut sets foot on non-Earth soil again. Take it to the bank.
The satellite will also study the Moon's composition and radiation environment and may use radar to probe below its surface.
Dean Cheng, senior Asia analyst at the think tank CNA Corporation in Alexandria, US, told New Scientist that a huge part of this mission is prestige.
"The Chinese have consistently tried to make sure their 'first' was bigger, better and more capable than anybody else's," he said.
3>Ancient Egypt gossiped about gays (advocate.com)
http://www.advocate.com/news_detail_ektid19644.asp
No, it's not the new area of Sitchen research, but it is rather puzzling. From the looks of it, this curator at a big Egyptian Museum found an old text that she interpreted to be gossip about a potentially gay king. I'm left wondering if she has too much time on her hands here. Reading her interpretation of the text (in the quote below) left me thinking she'd make a great C2C guest, since she seem to be able to leap to the most over-the-top explanation possible.
Lisa Schwappach-Shirriff is the curator of San Jose, Calif.'s Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum, which has North America's largest collection of Egyptian artifacts. In digging through the museum's archives and other evidence, she uncovered a penchant for tabloid-style gossip.
Discovery News reports that one 5,000-year-old text described an unidentified king often visiting the home of one of his generals at night. Schwappach-Shirriff says the repeated use of the phrase "in whose home there was no wife" suggests the king was having a gay affair. But she says the gossip doesn't necessarily mean the Egyptians were antigay. She says the implicit disapproval may really be about his failure to produce an heir.
4>Butlers in high demand (sky news)
http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13405576,00.html
Thailand ... they're at it again. This time they are stealing all the butlers from England. No, no, the butlers are not going there to be butlers, but rather "maid instructors", on a mission to teach maids how to be better at their job.
Given the lax human rights in Thailand, combined with the insanity of your average English butler and you've got the makings of real life horror show. I weep for those women.
British butlers are being snapped up in Shanghai to sort out sloppy maids.
Famous for being scrupulously finicky in their standards, the butlers are in high demand, despite not being allowed to be employed by families because of visa regulations.
Instead, they will show maids and nannies, known in China as "ayis", how to do their jobs.
5>Jewish texts to be translated highlight some ancient curiosities (jta.org)
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/08/05/rfid_chip_boycott/
Oh crap. This ought to keep many a C2C guest in business for a good year to five years. I'm looking at you Steve Quayle. I know your salivating over the potential translations relating to giants.
I will say, despite my fears of C2C nutter overload, there seems to be some interesting stuff contained in these texts. Magic, oracles, astrology, and, yes, giants. Hopefully I can find someone reputable to give me the straight dope on this before I'm hearing about it from a shady fellow out to make a buck.
Jewish books about magic and giants are among the slew of ancient texts set to be translated into English.
The manuscripts, which date from the third century B.C.E. to the sixth century C.E., include legends about numerous biblical characters, magical and astrological handbooks, poetry, visions, oracles, and apocalyptic prophecies.
250 miles per gallon? They're doing it (AP via CNN)
http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/08/15/hybrid.tinkerers.ap/index.html
Forget the actual story, what's stunning is that it even got onto the wires. I suppose since so few people own the hybrid cars, the media thinks it is "cute" and non threatening to the status quo.
Beyond that, this should go to show you that with the present oil crisis and the antiquated nature of the combustible engine, we are fast approaching a paradigm shift in the way we acquire power. Hopefully a breaking point will be reached and we can find an efficient way change over to a new form of energy.
Gremban, an electrical engineer and committed environmentalist, spent several months and $3,000 tinkering with his car.
Like all hybrids, his Prius increases fuel efficiency by harnessing small amounts of electricity generated during braking and coasting. The extra batteries let him store extra power by plugging the car into a wall outlet at his home in this San Francisco suburb -- all for about a quarter.
He's part of a small but growing movement. "Plug-in" hybrids aren't yet cost-efficient, but some of the dozen known experimental models have gotten up to 250 mpg.
That's Entertainment ! with Khyron
Posted @ Of all the directors that I revere, I cannot honestly say Michael Bay is one of them. My opinion about him is varied--while I enjoyed "The Rock" (mainly because it has my favorite actor, Michael Biehn), his disaster epic, "Armageddon," gets worse each time I watch it (which, unfortunately, is quite often, considering they play it constantly on cable).
All is fair in love, war, and "Battlefield 2". A follow-up to the popular "Battlefield 1942," "Battlefield 2" puts you in a fictitious near-future in which the US is at odds with China and the Middle East (ok, maybe not so fictitious). Players duke it out across a variety of locales--ranging from dusty deserts, to boggy marshes, to confined cityscapes. Jets, attack helicopters, tanks, and all manner of war-machines are at your disposal.
As opposed to "Battlefield 1942," "Battlefield 2" places a large emphasis on coordination and teamwork. After joining a multiplayer server, you have the option of joining or creating a squad. One member acts as the squad leader, capable of delivering orders to his squad members via an interactive map and built-in voice commands. The squad leader than serves under the battlefield commander--an elected player with the power to initiate satellite scans, drop supplies, and order devastating artillery bombardments. This command structure is bolstered by built-in VoIP technology, allowing voice communication with microphones.
All of this may seem a bit confusing, and it is. The multitasking required simulates the chaos of war, creating a fast-paced and exhilarating experience.
Competition and dirty tactics are not only encouraged, they are rewarded. By creating a screen name, your multiplayer experience is recorded--allowing you to track your kills, deaths, and skill at the various battlefield roles. You are also given a series of rankings, telling you just how good you are compared to the rest of the world.
You'll notice that the bulk of this review focuses on the on-line aspect. Although single player is available, the experience is nowhere near as entertaining. The computer-controlled opponents, although an improvement over "Battlefield 1942," won't provide the challenge of a human player.
Graphics wise, this game is phenomenal. Character models and maps are diverse, smooth, and realistic. These graphics, however, come at a high price. This game will only run good on above average computers. You may need to upgrade your graphics card or RAM (1GB is ideal) in order to play at full effect. And, because most of the game is played on-line, a high-speed, broadband connection will be necessary.
"Battlefield 2" is a high-octane and thrilling experience, sure to keep you glued to your keyboard and mouse for hours. With the ability to gain ranks and unlock new weapons, and with many different tactics for which to wage war, the lasting appeal will keep "Battlefield 2" interesting for a long time.
Rating: 5/5
Contact Khyron here : My Fandom : Year 2
Another quiet week in Red Sox Nation as we head towards September. The Sox are on fire and are pretty much trying to stay hot, maintain their top spot in the AL East and return to the playoffs. One minor story has kept me mildly entertained the last week and that is the fate of Sox second baseman Mark Bellhorne
There are rumours that the Sox will release second baseman Mark Bellhorne and then re-sign him when the rosters expand after September first. Mark Bellhorne is notorious in these parts for striking out. He led the majors in strike outs last year and was right back at it this year. Most people loathe him, but I enjoy him in a comical sense and I think he's a pretty good fielder. He also tends to get walked a lot, which is often overlooked, but proves valuable when one considers the big hitters that follow him in the lineup. Though this year I haven't noticed a large number of walks, so maybe that hidden gem is gone now.
It got so bad last year that the fans were booing him constantly during the playoff because he always struck out. They even went so far as to chant "Pokey", calling for Bellhorne's late inning replacement the beloved Pokey Reese. Then, out of nowhere, Bellhorne ended up hitting home runs in 3 games in a row during that historic play off run. It was truly bizarre. Since I had a soft spot in my heart for Bellhorne, I was pretty happy he made a difference when it counted the most.
But, it's a new year and a new season and Bellhorne is back to his awful ways. It was getting pretty deplorable right about the beginning of the month and then he injured his thumb and went on the disabled list. Things went from bad to worse as the Sox acquired two pretty good infielders, Alex Cora and Tony Graffanino. Graffanino in particular has been really good lately, earning the plucky nickname "Graffy" from yours truly. Hence the situation that the Sox are in now, as they certainly can't want Bellhorne back after seeing how good Graffanino is, but I'm sure they're in a bind because he went out injured.
I figured Bellhorne end up with the team through this year and shant be back next year. Part of me will be happy because we'll almost certainly who hits better than him. Then again, a small part of me will be sad to see Belhorne go, as his endless strike outs have earned somewhat of an unusual comic bliss to them. A veritable "Murphy's Law", the Bellhorne strike out always seemed to come at the worst possible time or at the most obvious. An excited "Who's up next ?", followed by the inevitable "Oh Christ ! Bellhorne !"
So, if this is your last year here and we won't see much of you in the meantime, twas good having you while you were around "Horney". Your ups always brought a smile to my face, followed by the inevitable disappointment, followed by another smile.
The Noory Story Showdown
This Week's Point Getters : No fresh ep. on Sunday, combined with little headlines from IP on Saturday, and a bunch of first hour guests last week, and we've got a low scoring week here in the NSS II.
Streamlinkers : FAZER scored with "Siberia melting" and Shredder scored with "Teens save unborn kittens with makeshift c-section"
theUSofE.com : Oscar scored 3 points with "Senior 4-Star General Is Relieved of Duties", "Orbiter to search for water on Mars", and "Discovery is home". Baemark scored 4 points with "iran breaks seals @ nuke plant", "S. Korean man dies after 50 hours of gaming", "Mars mission launch delayed", and "NASA launches Mars Orbiter".
Current Standings as of 8.8.5 : Baemark (22), Oscar (17), Tony1 (6), somnus (5), dark matter (4), mirage (4), Japanese American (2), SomeAverageJoe (2), Majestic Peak (2), Shredder (1), anotherlight (1), cns (1), jerikai (1), 1234 (1), and WTL (1)
Score 1 point for posting a news story that gets read by George Noory, Art Bell, or a guest host on the show. Stories posted after they are read by the hosts do NOT count. If you are not credited by me in News Watch, YOU are responsible for letting me know that I missed it. You can ONLY post your news stories in either the Streamlink message board "Current Events" folder or the U.S. of E. message board "Current Events" folder. (News Stories posted in individual episode folders or "Anything Goes" do not count)
The WINNER is the person with the most Noory Story points (cumulative) in the January 2nd, 2006 Edition of News Watch.
The 1st PRIZE is a $40 dollar shopping spree @ the official binnallofamerica.com store.
The 2nd & 3rd place PRIZES are binnallofamerica.com T-Shirts and a mystery surprise item.
Any questions / comments can be sent to tbinnall@hotmail.com This contest is REAL. No wagering, please. Editorial
We, the Iraqis
Seriously, the Iraq Constitution. Have I really run out of things to talk about at this point ? Of course not. There's so much to say.
Let's begin with the fact that this is getting obnoxious coverage in the media ... like I care. The Iraqi government is like an ugly reality show. Farcical at best, grossly transparent at worst. Despite the media's best attempts to sell me on how this great government was elected in Iraq by blue thumbed freedom loving Iraqis, I don't buy it. Sounds like they just rounded up whoever lived there and was interested in the job. Stop showing me news about the Iraqi government, because they obviously stink as we're still there propping them up.
Which leads me to their latest struggle : writing a constitution. Are you kidding me ? Just take ours, we're not using it. Based on my lousy public school education, I would suggest that after finishing the constitution, there will be a civil war, because that's how it happened here. Things go faster now, so expect that in about 6 months to a year.
Now, I swear I heard somewhere that one of the sticking points was over a new name for Iraq. I've not heard it mentioned since, so maybe the settled on ... oh, I don't know ... Iraq ? I'm all for re-branding that cesspool of a nation, but let's just call it Iraq because I'm not done hating it yet.
The ladies in the audience will be unhappy and not surprised that the new Iraqi constitution will go along with the Sharia Law of Islam. Apparently, the Sharia law is where all those crazy restrictions come from that make women into 3rd class citizens and don't let people do other fun stuff. Of course, the US doesn't like that, but the Iraqi's are sticking to their guns on this one. Hence the Iraqi's can't draft a constitution. Those wacky Iraqis, they can't get anything right.
From here, the Iraqi's, if they can ever finish the constitution must take it to the people to be ratified. Great, another rash of blue thumbed folks parading in front of the camera like animals in a zoo. Should the blue thumbers vote the constitution in, then they have to elect a new government via another vote. Yes ! More blue thumbs. Then the new government takes office around the end of the year, if they are on schedule. Sigh.
Democracy is hard work, even this flim flam democracy their spreading Iraq like some kind of "I Can't Believe it's not Tyranny" Saddam substitute. Speaking of Saddam, I miss the old coot. Sure he was an evil dictator, but who isn't in their own little way ? At least he made the trains run on time or chopped off the hands of the conductor.
The heat was blistering the last two weeks but today it was rainy all day and, hence, cold as hell. I'm wearing a sweatshirt as I type this, a first in over a month. Perfect napping weather.
Plugs : Lesley takes a look at The Women of C2C in a fascinating "Grey Matters" tomorrow @ BoA. Khyron has been tearing it up the last few weeks with "Ghost Files" and this week should be no different. Mystery Hot Newz on Thursday, but I'm sure you'll like it. Friday, the binnall report finally sheds some light on the upcoming binnall of america : audio, Season One premiere. Saturday, stuff and lots of it. Sunday, late night, Saturday Night Punnett, one of my new favorite weekly vices. Sunday afternoon, smoker dave stops by to rant about his Conservative values. And, this time next week, your own personal form of "infotainment, "News Watch" will bring it all back around again. Next week, the long awaited "Back to School" editorial that you simply cannot miss.
Until the forces of BoA unite our power rings and scream out "News Watch !", be safe, be prepared, and be real.