After a two week absence, News Watch has returned with my usual take on the insanity that is the news cycle. Thrown together surprisingly fast, we've got all the bells and whistles you've come to know and love from my "B show" column.
For those of you actively competing in the Noory Story Showdown, check out this week's installment, where I run down what to do if I missed your story over my extended break. We've got approximately 2 months left until prizes are doled out and it looks like Templar has bailed on the competition, meaning it may be up for grabs if someone can catch his lofty number.
Aside from that, all the usual stuffs. And, as always, check End Notes for an update on when we will begin rolling out X-Conference coverage hardcore @ binnallofamerica.com.
Until then ... let's get to the news :
Hot 5 Stories of the Week
1>NASA delays shuttle launch till July (CNN)
http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/space/04/29/shuttle.delay/index.html
Before I commence to mocking NASA for failing once again, let me direct you to this quote from the 4.4.2005 edition of this very column : "Don't expect NASA to launch in May, as we've been told time and time again by NASA fanboys and space junkies the world over. No, no, expect the launch in mid-to-late Summer. Oh, NASA, you've done it again ! "
Ahhh, now that the gloating is over let's look at NASA's latest blunder. My first suggestion would be for NASA to stop announcing flight plans until the week before the flight, at least to the media. You're just looking like Richard C. Hoagland predicting the life on Mars announcement. i.e. foolish.
For all the ribbing I give NASA, I can at least appreciate that they are more interested in the safety of their crew instead of their diminishing public perception. It has been rumoured for years that NASA was really just a PR ploy to fool the American people into thinking we are making an effort to go into space, but if that is the case, one wonders what message they are trying to send us now.
Discovery was originally scheduled to take off May 15, but last week the date was delayed to May 22. Now the launch will have to go off between July 13 and 31 for conditions to be favorable..
2>iPod blamed for spike in subway crime (AP via CNN)
http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/ptech/04/28/subway.crime.ipod.ap/index.html
The streets are a jungle and the iPod is apparently the golden loincloth. Much like the stolen sneaker craze of the mid 1990's and beyond, now the thugs who populate our urban areas are taking to snatching iPods. Thankfully, I both wear cheap headphones and use a different MP3 player. Given the high asking price and overall vanity of the iPod, one wonders what yuppie cretin was wearing his iPod in a subway train in the first place. One must think defensive-mindedly nowadays.
"Thieves spot people with the telltale white earphones, then snatch the devices and run out train doors. On Web sites, iPod devotees suggest keeping the devices concealed and switching to cheaper-looking earphones."
3>Popemobile for Sale? (Reuters via myway.com)
http://reuters.myway.com/article/20050429/2005-04-29T161143Z_01_B215035_RTRIDST_0_ODD-POPE-EBAY-DC.html
Remember that Seinfeld where George Costanza bought John Voight's car ? Well, it's happening for real, only John Voight is now the Pope.
Some kid bought a car that was once owned by Pope Benedict. The kid's a genius because now he is going to sell it on ebay. Who could possibly apply an intrinsic value to the car because it was once owned by the Pope ? I suppose the same folks who wanted that Virgin Mary grilled cheese.
A second hand car once said to be registered in the name of Joseph Kardinal Ratzinger -- the new Pope Benedict - is up for sale on eBay and the sky seems to be the limit when it comes to bidding.
The vehicle, a metallic gray 1999 Volkswagen Golf, went up for auction on the German site (www.ebay.de) at a minimum price of 9,900 euros ($12,790) Wednesday and, just over 24 hours and more than 300 bids later, the price had temporarily hit one million euros ($1.3 million).
4>Were HIV Positive Foster Kids Used As Guinea Pigs? (themoderatevoice.com via infowars.com)
http://www.infowars.com/articles/ps/hiv_positive_foster_kids_used_as_guinea_pigs.htm
When I really really need to feel creeped out and ashamed that I am a human, I read infowars.com. They never cease to have a story of some chilling or disgraceful act being committed somewhere on Earth. This time around it is a potential scandal involving HIV drugs and foster kids.
I won't use this story, as much as I would like to, to rail on the adoption process in America. That would take all day. Instead, I will simply say that I am not surprised in the least. The entire system is rife with corruption and even worse things. I'd say "Franklin Cover-up", but I don't want to be murdered. Whoops.
The two-pronged allegations entail powder-keg charges that the city tested AIDS drugs on foster children and that if a foster parent objected the children were then placed elsewhere.
The review by the agency staff, he said, determined that about 465 children had taken part in the trials between 1988 and 2001, with most participating before current treatments for AIDS became commonly available. He said that according to the records only two children were removed from foster parents who refused to undergo the trials and that both of those children had serious medical conditions that required treatment.
5>Bollywood 'Oscars' honor David Hasselhoff (Reuters via CNN)
http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/05/01/bollywood.reut/index.html
Bollywood, for those of you non-globally minded, is the Indian version of ... you guessed it ... Hollywood. Only Bollywood is a fantastic place of wonderment and awe instead of being the pit of vermin and sleaze one expects from it's American counterpart. Truth be told, I don't know much about Bollywood except that their films are pretty fantastic, they all seem to be musicals, and the music is insane, but in a good way.
And, what would a celebration of Indian culture and art be without the presence of American cultural invader David Hasslehoff. One wonders when someone like him actually feeds into a cliche of being famous outside of America and a joke while here. They named him "International Star of the Year". That's both sad and gross.
India's version of the Oscars were handed out at the glittering Bollywood movie award ceremony on Saturday that saw a veteran director sweep the top honors and U.S. actor David Hasselhoff named international star of the year.
Future News Now
Toll Road Hell (Washingtonpost.com via Infowars.com)
http://www.infowars.com/articles/us/toll_road_hell.htm
Alex Jones has been on this story for about 6 months or more and it is time it made the pages of News Watch. From what I understand, Austin, Texas, where Jones resides, is a template for a massive roll out of toll roads in the future. Jones, of course, has been fighting it with all his vigor, but hasn't gained a foothold in the fight.
The long range plan : eventual disbanding of "free roads" in favor of "toll roads" where driving is not only a priviledge, but an expensive one as well. Of course, the good folks at our omnipotent government will allow us to save a few bucks by purchasing a subscription to one of those "EZ Pass" type programs, thusly allowing our travels to be sent back to a computer. Much like our previous edition of News Watch that warned of the impending chipping of America, this story represents an impending chipping of our vehicles, making travel both costly and under high surveillance.
The lanes represent the first step in what regional leaders hope is an extensive network of toll lanes across the region. Virginia officials are considering additional HOT lanes on parts of Interstates 95 and 395, and Maryland officials are exploring express toll lanes on the Beltway, I-270, the Baltimore Beltway and I-95 north of Baltimore.
The concept is in use in California and Texas and is being considered in several other states as governments look for ways to finance roads when most budgets are shrinking. HOT lanes are scheduled to open in Minneapolis and Denver this year.
The Noory Story Showdown
This Week's Point Getters : Alright, I'll admit it. I missed almost 2 weeks of C2C because of my outlandish travels to Washington and beyond. Therefore, if you want credit for any news stories from between the last "News Watch" (4.18 ) until today (5.2), you MUST contact me w. the location of the story and the day it was read.
That said, I did notice a few major stories that I'm 99% positive Noory read, such as the Japanese Train Derailment, posted @ theusofe.com by baemark. I recall Noory being all over the "exploding toads of Germany", posted by Jerikai.
Valkyrie also nailed the exploding toads on the Streamlink board, scoring his second point. And, I figure since Noory was following the Wendy's finger case he'd have mentioned that the woman involved was arrested, adding another point for mirage. There are a lot of stories on Streamlink that may have been read by Noory during my absence, so if you know of them, contact me for due credit.
Current Standings as of 5.2.5 : Templar (9), Oscar (4), FAZER (3), Jerikai (3), mirage (3), Baemark (3), Valkryie (2), Dennis (2), SimpleComplexities (2), TxStarGazer (2), Raven (2), shanesq1 (1), jerseyred (1), Dustminer (1), afeent1 (1), crimsonadam (1), sideshow (1), and outuvbody (1)
The Rules : Score 1 point for posting a news story that gets read by Noory or Art Bell on the show. If you are not credited by me in News Watch, YOU are responsible for letting me know that I missed it. You can ONLY post your news stories in either the Streamlink message board "Current Events" folder or the U.S. of E. message board "Current Events" folder (News Stories posted in individual episode folders or "Anything Goes" do not count) The WINNER is the person with the most Noory Story points (cumulative) in the July 4th Edition of News Watch. Subsequently, there will be a 2nd competition for the 2nd half of 2005, culminating on 1.2.2006. The 1st PRIZE is a $40 dollar shopping spree @ the official binnallofamerica.com store. Any questions / comments can be sent to tbinnall@hotmail.com This contest is REAL. No wagering, please.
Jackson Schmackson
The big story of the last couple of weeks was Jackson's ex-wife taking the stand for the prosecution and then doing a double-turn and siding with MJ himself. The state was stunned, the judge was stunned, the pundits were stunned, I was stunned. The most recent big hit against the prosecution so far and this will have a big effect on the Jackson scale.
Meanwhile, shadowy sources claim that low level celebrity Macauley Culkin will testify in defense of Jackson. This may off-set the prosecutions plans to cart out '80's teen heartthrob Corey Feldman. Post-trial, I'll be interested in hearing which washed up star had more credibility to the befuddled jurors.
And, thankfully, the prosecution is rumoured to be wrapping up it's case and then it is all about the Jackson defense team and how they poke holes in the story of the accuser et al. I'm afraid the prosecution has put together a very sloppy case and it may not be a winner.
The Jackson Scale : 65 (Last Week : 82)
Comment : Jackson's ex-wife on the heels of the accuser's mother swings the momentum back to the Jackson side. With the defense preparing to take over now, this number may creep down further over the next few weeks.
A scale of 1 to 100, with 100 being nearly certain, I will deduce the odds of Jackson being found guilty and going to jail. This is not an opinion of his guilt, just a barometer of the potential outcome of the trial.
Editorial
Runaway Story about a Bride to Be
Thank crap there is something ridiculous breaking so I do not have to rant endlessly this week about such lofty matters as the new Pope or China v. Japan. The skinny : A lady disappeared right before her wedding, the media went crazy, she turned up and admitting to lying about being kidnapped.
Oh, where to begin. Firstly, I am continually stunned by the media's choices in who to feature for their "Missing Person of the Month" binge that overtakes them at some point during the lunar cycle. If it isn't a sexy woman, it's a cute little kid. Never a fat creepy dude or a squirrly teenage kid with bad acne. Sadly, I'm sure the folks in the media are disappointed that this chick turned up, because this had the makings of Scott Peterson II. That said, they will surely be covering the brief aftermath ad nauseum.
Now, onto the matters of the principals in this story. This woman is obviously deranged, leaving home with nothing but $150 bucks and not telling a soul. If you are going to bail on your wedding, you at least pass the buck to a sibling, a parent, or drunk uncle Marty. No, no, this lady made it look like she was nabbed, leaving behind all her essential stuffs and taking off in the midst of her nightly jog. This, ladies and gentleman, is a nutter.
The poor husband, meanwhile, is not only emasculated before the nation, it comes after being assumed to be a murderer by the cynical population of our fair republic. I'll admit it, they got me. I was ready to flip the switch on this would-be groom before the end of the week. My advice : book deal and talk show circuit, stat. This guy needs to be on Letterman by Tuesday.
What to do about this crazy woman who faked her own disappearance ? Do we shave her head in public ala the old style punishments of antiquated Europe ? What's the point ? She already did a better job of humiliating herself by donning that god awful blanket over her head for the better part of an evening while being paraded in front of the nation if not the world. Public scorn and a hefty municipal fine ought to set her right and / or a stay in a nearby mental facility and / or four nights of straight drinking.
I may sit here and begrudge the media for falling all over themselves to cover this story, but let's face it, it's better than your usual missing person story. This one was a potential tragedy that turns out to be a display of vanity and insanity. First we're worried, then we're amused and disgusted. And now we're on to the next person who has disappeared.
End Notes
Uh oh, this means News Watch is next to disappear and here's it goes for one more week. Getting back into the swing of things and we will have a buffer, better, and more streamlined NW same time next week. I've one new feature that may debut soon, so keep an eye out for a new News Watch segment coming soon.
Now, the plugs ... X-Conference pictures are locked and loaded and ready to be posted very soon, within days @ binnallofamerica.com. Tomorrow, the debut of "Grey Matters" from our newest columnist Lesley. Also, Wednesday Khyron's "Ghost Files" reemerges on the scene and then, of course, Hot Newz and tbr on Friday. At some point later this week, we'll also roll out a presentation by presentation look at who I saw at X-Conference that did not make it into the final cut of the "AD" article.
We expect to get the MP3s up soon, hopefully by this time next week.
This time next week ? That's News Watch time. Until then ... be safe, be real, and be prepared.