Tis the day before the "Ides of March" and time once again for "News Watch". I am your lowly reporter, binnall, bringing you the news that may have slipped through the cracks of your life, along with other wacky gimmicks, like "Jackson Schmackson" and "Noory Stories". So sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Hot 5 Stories of the Week
1>Students' Verdict on New SAT: It's Long (AP via myway.com)
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20050314/D88QF0CG0.html
If there is a beast out there I dislike more than your average NASA scientist, it's the modern American teenager. So, when they are forced to undergo more rigorous testing, I say all the better. Most teenagers are hopelessly unaware of the world around them, moreso than when I was a mere tot. Now, they are all wrapped up in their newfangled cell phones with text messaging and there's the AOL IM and their forty foot long "buddy lists". In my day, we used the phone and, if you were a close friend, a rock with a note tied to it.
I am amused that these kids have to write an essay ... with a pencil. Who uses pencil anymore ? That's so antiquated.
From the Article :
Some 330,000 mostly grumpy high-schoolers became the first to officially take the revamped SAT college entrance exam this weekend. While the new, 25-minute essay at the start of the test generated much of the buzz and anxiety, students quickly discovered they were hardly home free after finishing it.
2>1962 nuclear test still shaking things up (CNN)
http://www.cnn.com/2005/ALLPOLITICS/03/11/sedan.blast/index.html
The typo heard 'round the world. A truly bizarre story and one that shows you a> that the rest of the world is just looking for a reason to hate us and b> people, no matter where they live, are stupid and paranoid. Apparently, someone misspoke about nuclear tests and the transcript read "Sudan" not "Sedan" and the Sudanese flipped out, thinking they were the target of secret nuclear tests in 1962.
Thankfully, an independent researcher realized the mistake and corrected things. He reflects :
"It is an amazing demonstration of the way information flows in our world today and how it has enormous potential to mislead as well as inform," he said. "In this case, the changing of a single letter altered the meaning from a meaningless code name into a foreign country with repercussions that are still unfolding."
3>Man Tasered In Hospital Bed, Forced To Give Urine Sample (AP via infowars.com)
http://www.infowars.com/articles/ps/tasers_tasered_in_hospital_give_urine_sample.htm
The insanity that comes from morons with tasers continues as the boys in blue tasered some dude because he refused to let the nurses inject a catheter tube to get a urine sample. If that's a reason for tasering then I think any right thinking male would be tasered if put in that position.
I suppose it never occured to the cops to simply wait until the guy had to pee. He was strapped to the bed and all. Why practice patience when you can practice tasering ?
From the Article :
The police document said Wheeler was handcuffed to a hospital bed and then secured with leather straps after he refused to urinate in a cup. When medical staff tried to insert a catheter to get the sample, Wheeler refused and began thrashing around, the affidavit said.
At one point, police officer Peter Linnenkamp reported, he jumped on the bed with his knees on Wheeler's chest to restrain him. When Wheeler still refused to let the catheter be inserted, Linnenkamp said he twice used his Taser, which sends 50,000 volts into a target.
4>County Abuzz As Bezos Plans Spaceport (AP via myway.com)
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20050313/D88PS3VG0.html
The story that almost made "Future News Now", yes Jeff Bezos, the guy who founded amazon.com and impending commercial space mogul, is building a spaceport (think airport but for space ships) Allow me this moment to mock NASA and praise Bezos. NASA ... shutting down fantastic equipment for budget reasons. Bezos ... building a spaceport. NASA ... incompetent. Bezos ... competant.
The beginning of a new era is just around the corner. Yes, commercial space flight will be where it's at. Much like the Fed Exes and DHLs of the world stomp all over the post office, so expect Bezos and friends to crush NASA.
From the Article :
Bezos isn't the only tech industry billionaire with stars in his eyes and ties to Texas, where Bezos attended elementary school for three years in Houston while his stepfather was an engineer at Exxon.
SpaceX, started by PayPal founder Elon Musk, plans to launch and deploy a military satellite this year using a rocket. The California-based company has conducted much of its testing in McGregor, Texas, near the Fort Hood military base.
John Carmack, who made a fortune on "Doom" and "Quake" through his video game company ID Software, owns Armadillo Aerospace based in suburban Dallas. The venture also hopes to launch its own brand of space rockets.
Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen spent $20 million to fund the SpaceShipOne rocket plane that last fall successfully reached the edge of space and returned.
5>Pope's Ailments Keep TV Networks Guessing (AP via myway.com)
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20050314/D88QFQ500.html
Leave it to the sick animals in the mainstream media to be jumping all over coverage rights in the event of the Pope's demise. Everybody wants to get that shot of the infamous smoke, and plaster it all over their "PJP : RIP" graphics going in and out of round the clock coverage. I wouldn't be surprised to hear they have snuck into the Pope's room while he is sleeping to best calibrate their cameras for the funeral.
From the Article :
For American networks, the coverage will likely resemble the aftermath of former President Reagan's death: several hours of live coverage when the news breaks, then occasional special reports on the broadcast networks. Expect cable news networks to be nearly wall-to-wall on the story. ...
Organizing coverage is a logistical nightmare for networks: they need to rent places with good camera views of St. Peter's, separate facilities for dozens of short-timers to work and hotel rooms at a moment's notice in a popular tourist town.
And woe to the network that misses the picture when a puff of smoke indicates a new pope has been chosen.
Future News Now
China to Have 800 Missiles Aimed at Taiwan in 2006
(Daily News via stevequayle.com)
http://www.stevequayle.com/News.alert/05_Unrest/050311.CH.missiles.html
China is going to war with Taiwan. You heard it here first. This sabre rattling has gone on for quite some time and we're mere moments away from some nut with an attitude setting off a total Asian free-for-all. Of course, it will not happen until after the 2008 Beijing Olympics, so probably in the fall, most likely October.
I don't care to speculate on what might happen should Taiwan be invaded by China. It could go a number of ways. The U.S. probably doesn't want to dance with the Red Dragon just yet, but they may have no choice as China will surely, by then, be ready to rumble. Russia will probably be the wildcard or it will just conquer Europe while no one is looking. Meanwhile, I will be hiding somewhere in the Caymen Islands with a monkey and my copy of "The After Dark CD".
From the Article :
“The number is estimated to increase to 800 next year,” [Tai Defense Minister] Lee warned in a call for support of a new 480 billion Taiwan dollar (15.24 billion US) arms package aimed at deterring China. His report came one day after Taipei lodged what one senior Taiwanese official called “the strongest protest” against “threats resorting to violent means” by China
Noory Stories
I'm perusing the various news posts on the boards and see some juicy ones, indeed. Kudos go out to FAZER for posting the news on NASA's new administrator. I'm sure Noory will mention that, no doubt prompting yet another RCH appearance. Double kudos, if that happens.
I believe Noory may have mentioned the Spanish fatwa against Osama, so kudos to SimpleComplexities for pointing that one out. I also believe I missed Templar's posting of the dolphins getting beached from a few weeks back, also discussed by The Noor.
If I missed any, feel free to point them out. I sometimes don't catch Noory's nightly news segments. Think you know Noory ? Post a news story that you just know Noory will read and if he does, you get mentioned here in Noory Stories.
Jackson Schmackson
In my ongoing efforts to stay ahead of the news in the Jackson Trial, I have taken to watching the E! show that recreates the trial based on court transcripts. I'm not sure if it is bad acting or what, but it does not look good for the prosecution at all. They've brought out there big guns, the dual accusers, but the first one got ripped to pieces by Jackson's lawyer and the second is due to have the same happen when court resumes today. The accuser's brother's story was so full of holes and incorrect statements that it was laughable at times. I expect more of the same when the Jackson team gets a chance to go all out in cross-examination today. After that, what does the state have left ? Corey Feldman ? They better produce or else this trial takes on farcical tones.
Meanwhile, E!'s show is decidedly slanted in favor of Jackson, which may play a role in how I see the trial shaping up. That said, I've not been impressed with what the prosecution has brought to the table so far, irregardless of the medium in which I see the trial.
Don't get me started on Jackson's insane appearance in pajamas at the trial. No matter how the trial is going, I will say this, that idiot has done more to hurt his chances of winning since this began than anyone on his legal team. He has no concept of reality and should he be found guilty he should probably be sent to a mental hospital instead of jail. He couldn't have had one of his umpteen underlings run over to Neverland and fetch him some proper pants ? Ridiculous.
Also, the judge lifted the gag order on Jay Leno, so if you enjoy child molestation jokes, your day has been made.
The Jackson Scale : 50 (Last Week : 65)
A scale of 1 to 100, with 100 being nearly certain, I will deduce the odds of Jackson being found guilty and going to jail. This is not an opinion of his guilt, just a barometer of the potential outcome of the trial.
Editorial
Teacher - Student Trysts: the Shark Attacks of 2005
It seems not a day goes by where I do not hear some story about a wayward young female teacher having sex with one of her shockingly underage students. Is a dangerous new trend developing ? Not so fast.
At first I thought so, as the stories kept piling up. One pundit even went so far as to blame the popularity of "Desperate Housewives" on this rash of strange behaviour from our usually prim and proper school marms. As I am no expert on sociology, I will defer the decifering of any connection between the TV show and these stories to one Loren Coleman, as he seems to know best.
That said, it does appear that the newfound story of teacher-student trysts is the "shark attacks of 2005", meaning that the media has dubbed this the "hot" story of the time and we should expect to see lots of reports on the subject. One wonders if this is really news or more of the same garbage we see from the media which beats a topic to death then leaves it behind for the small special interest groups who actually care.
If I were to venture a guess, I'd say that these teacher-student trysts are nothing new. However, society's unhinged "protection of children" creates a knee-jerk reaction where any sexy new teacher is under the microscope of several nosey neighborhood folks. Perhaps the end result is a self fulfilled prophecy causing the teacher to stray from normal rational thought. One wonders.
Whatever the case, the point is obvious : public schools are the cesspools of the day. Having been a teacher for oh-so-brief a moment, I can say with total conviction that, should some lovely young woman be good enough to have my child, homeschooling is the only choice as far as education goes. I've heard too many guests on various estoric radio shows talking about the "big picture" of schools that I have simply no trust in them to provide a proper, well-balanced education to any child.
Add in the various agencies, busybodies, poorly raised children, and administrators with low IQs, and teachers that just don't care or are simply not qualified to teach anything, and you have a recipe for a lousy education for any child.
Yes, one is better off letting their child learn on their own under the tutelage of someone who you know cares about them and their development. That is, unless they are hoping to give them a good education in sex and drugs, then public schools are the way to go.
Post Script : Where were all these gorgeous teachers who have sex with students when I was in high school ?
End Notes
The bell has rung and News Watch is out for the day, kids. As always, we return next week with more News goodness. Keep an eye on the binnallofamerica.com site for the usual good stuff this week, including more on X-Conference and other fun stuff.
In the meantime, be safe, be real, and be prepared.