Okay, I'm having an orb problem. Nothing serious, as in ‘oh my god, orbs are stealing my luggage', but nonetheless annoying.

You see, I am a bit of a shutterbug. The usual suspects are family members, sunsets, flower gardens, the odd silly mishap and, of course, my cat. And my spouse, who's something of a techno-magician on the computer, loves to transform my photographic musings into clever musical slide shows. Actually, it's really quite a fun hobby. And productive, as both of us get to create, exchange ideas and gossip about our unsuspecting subjects.

But here's the problem: every time I take a picture there is a big, fat orb in it. Sometimes wafting off to the side, sometimes hovering pleasantly above someone's head, sometimes smack-dab in the camera lens and sometimes just squatting in the corner like some big, pudgy bug.

Who or what is this orb? I'd sure like to know.

I've heard many theories. Spirit lights, curious ghosts, aliens, messages from the past; they all have merit, I suppose, and several even explain the nature of these happy little floaters. One thing I have noticed about them is that when ignored or treated as natural events, they get bigger and brighter. Over time, their color can change. On rare occasions they seem to have words written inside them. Many people suspect they are attempting to offer spiritual wisdom, help us evolve or communicate some deep, mystical knowledge.

I, however, take a more practical approach: these little suckers are ruining my best pictures and are, therefore, evil.

You can't even see them in real time. They don't talk. They refuse to stand still long enough to be examined. And they sneak up on you, as if skulking behind some bush or shrub just waiting to push their smug little faces into your finest photographic moments. What is that about? At the very least they are shameless teases.

I've even tried having someone take another picture a few hundred feet away, you know…as a decoy while I get the real picture. No luck: they can't be fooled. Devils.

Frustrating as it may be, I shall have to accept this chubby little pest as a member of my family. What else am I to do? He shows up in almost all family photos. Besides, I have a couple of nephews that are far worse.

Reluctantly, I have decided to name him Roy, in honor of one of my favorite singers: Roy Orbison. And who knows, it could actually be him.