It has become a well-practiced routine but every time I read an article by Stan Dayo or hear Steve Qualye on the radio, I go shopping.

Emergency preparedness gear, although extremely important, can be hard to find. But, of course, I have no choice: the rigors of persistent shopping pale in comparison to being stranded in the woods with your starving, wounded neighbors after a devastating earthquake, a nuclear cataclysm or a merciless meteor shower. Years ago, as a fledgling conspiracy monger my first naïve purchases were a handful of water purification tablets and a simple box of waterproof matches. I was so terribly young then.

Since then I have evolved. And, undoubtedly, in the event of any horrible disaster my little tented section of the woods will surely become a kind of post apocalyptic 7-11. As a compassionate survivor, I shall charge very little and even freely offer a slurpee-like concoction for the binding of snakebites and swollen limbs. Proudly, my latest acquisition has been a hands-free crank flashlight; a clever device that straps to the head and, in absolute darkness, enables the free use of both hands. I openly admit it; it’s an obsession.

I am, however, a product of my culture and I have been well trained. The Y2K thing got me started: a first aid kit here, a portable radio there. It was all so easy. And the news media, with its calming but clever voice of preparedness, urged me on. I bought a healthy variety of survival products, tuned my radio to an emergency broadcast station and waited for the worst.

When nothing happened it was, of course, no solace, After just a little research it soon became evident that if the computer systems of the world were to falter, we would have only a few days left of food, drinkable water and medical services. After that, two days…three tops… and society would completely break down.

And then there was 9-11; which pretty much made me look over my shoulder every time a bearded man walked by or a plane flew overhead. After that, well…then it’s just a slippery slope to 2012, isn’t it?

And so, for most of the Western hemisphere the entire 21st century has so far been filled with anxiety, prejudice and knee-jerk politics. Pleasantville, it’s not. I wonder, however, just where all this fear is coming from. I mean, I am a rational and educated person. Did I really think duct tape would save me from a biological weapon attack? And did the news media really instruct me how to surgically seal my doors and windows if I heard a crop dusting plane overhead?

As an astrologer and a student of history I am painfully aware that new centuries have always been met with nervousness, unease and even paranoia. At the end of the 19th century there was a noticeable groundswell of fear in the media and a rise in social tension throughout Europe. Soon libraries and newsstands were filled with doomsday publications and scientific articles touting earthly revolution and countrywide destruction. Idle speculation? Fearful gossip? Unchecked negativity? Unfortunately it wouldn’t be long before World War I began and proved them all correct.

And so, what to think of 2012? Perhaps ‘where is all this fear coming from’ is less important a question than ‘where is all this fear going’?

It has always been my experience that humanity, for lack of a better word, is quite capable of derailing its own fear but, for reasons unknown, sometimes chooses not to. I once had the great misfortune of being lost in a downtown crowd a few hours before a terrible riot occurred. And, I have to say, it was frightening.

Even though the shoppers, café patrons and store clerks all appeared normal, pleasant and even jovial, there was an undercurrent of tension. People were milling about, shopping as usual, but something unusual was going on and I couldn’t put my finger on. It wasn’t a communication or a mood, it was something deeper and more subtle. There seemed to be an intuition in the crowd that I have not felt before; as if a private signal existed that offered a faint but recognizable direction. It was very strange.

I must have looked quite pale because the friend I was with asked me if I was feeling ill. I replied no, but it was at that exact moment that someone nearby tossed a beer bottle onto the street with a loud crash. And I knew… I just knew… what was to come; you could feel it, it was palpable. I told my friend that we had to leave immediately. And we did. Within a few hours a violent riot erupted and destroyed much of the downtown core.

Fear has an energy about it that demands completion, as if a sustained anguish or a hidden anger can summon a private agreement within the crowd that can, indeed, trigger events or change history. I suspect the year 2012, like Y2K, will come and go without incident. I also suspect…no, I know…that it is our own collective immaturity and fear that, if left unchecked, will bring disaster. This, more than any planet-threatening earthquake or deadly solar storm, keeps me buying waterproof tents and first aid kits.